Time Marches On

Life, we all take it for granted. We go through the motions of our daily life not really thinking about how special certain moments are until they've passed and it's too late to do what you should have done with that moment. I'm trying to make each and every moment special. I'm trying not to yell at my kids for doing things they know they shouldn't do. I'm trying to be happy for my husband when he gets to go have fun while I work my tail off and not be jealous or complain about it. But life is passing me by in the meantime and I need to be more cognizant of every single moment. My oldest son turns 18 in 2 days, my oldest daughter is going into the police academy, and my baby will be 7.  I can not even fathom all that. Where did the time go?? I will enjoy every tiny second of every day I get to be these kids' mom, because in no time, they will all be gone and I will wonder if I really was in the moment with them. I just hope they leave our house with more happy memories then upsetting ones. I pray that they know I love them with all my heart and I am proud of them no matter what they do in life. I only wish them happiness and love and the ability to cope with whatever life throws at them. And if they are unhappy, or feel unloved, or can't deal with life, then I hope they know I'm here. I'll always be here because they are my breath.

I Am NOT an overachiever

I swear I am not one of those overachiever moms. Sometimes though, I really get in over my head volunteering. Its a trait I am sadly passing onto my kids. Its not that it's bad, but you just get burnt out when you help everyone else. Today was one of those days. Started my day out being on the road at 8am  driving one of my speech club kids to our meet an hour away. No, my own children weren't even there. I just like to torture myself by being the Speech club coordinator and having nothing else to do with 4 Saturday's a year and weekly club meetings. My dear husband got to be in charge of indoor soccer with another one of our kids and dropping off another one at a friends house. Then when I got home from my obligation, we went to church together, dropped all the kids back at home, and headed to work our volunteer obligation for high school kiddo. Yay. Or not. I Am so deadbeat tired right now I don't know how I would be functioning without my nectar of 5 hour energy. So thanks 5 Hour Energy for keeping this non-overachiever Moms head above water. I'd be dead without you!!!

Silent Lucidity

"So here it is, another chance. Wide awake you face the day. Your dream is over, or has it just begun"

I'm here for another chance at this blog. That facepage thing got to be overwhelming. SOOOOO Much negativity, and being the empath that I am, I was sucking it all in, and it was weighing me down HEAVY. I feel like I've just quit using drugs or something, like everything is clear, and fresh, and I CAN BREATHE! It's such an amazing feeling. Weird that something that's just pictures and words on the internet can make you feel so bad. But I'm glad to be away from it and moving on.

So life.. it's been going pretty amazingly well. I mean, bad things happen everyday, it's just how you choose to look at it that makes all the difference in the world. For example, my Dear Husband was stressing out about some things, and snapped at me, and instead of fighting back, I went to my bedroom and prayed FOR HIM. That's so unlike me, I mean, not praying, but not fighting back.

I just recently returned from a wonderful pilgrimage to D.C. with my third child for the Pro-Life March and it really cleared my head to get away. That was the first time in 22 years I went away without my husband, wasn't sitting in the hospital taking care of a sick kid or having a baby, and was able to just be ME and enjoy myself. I see why every woman says you have to do that. It's rejuvenating. And it's helped me come back a better Mom and Wife.

Time has gotten away from me today, so I don't have much of it to put my thoughts down here, but I will come back. I WILL BE BACK. And more often. But for today, go find the song Silent Lucidity by Queensryche. I like to think it's God talking to me. Watching over me. Protecting me. Lying next to me in silent lucidity.

The last 5 days

I didn't write it down. I don't know what I've done. I'm a failure. But that's Ok. I still love me. :) I know I've used several of those 30 minute increments for exercise on the Wii. And some I used for vegetating and reading. But I didn't write it down. I can barely find time to write down my grocery list.  Um... yeah. I don't know what else I want to say. I don't have anything comical to say. I know that a husband in pain is a pain in the ass. He's worse than me with PMS! I found a magic pill that makes him less cranky, but then he gets sleepy and is even more worthless than a cranky husband. I hope he gets well soon. I miss the guy I married. The guy he was BEFORE some distracted woman rear ended him with her car. So if you have a spare prayer, pray that he heals soon. I don't know how much more I can handle.

Days 4, 5, & 6

4 & 5: There is nothing to post about. I did not find time for myself. I was so exhausted I fell asleep early both nights, before the kids even went to bed. Today is no exception. Blah.
6: I went to Walmart to rent a Redbox, and spent 30 minutes just walking around by myself. When I got home, my husband had the kids bathed, and so now, they're watching ParaNorman, and I get to give his stinky puppy a bath.

My brain is just not connected, so that's it from me.

***EDITED TO ADD: I got a bonus 30 minutes tonight on the Wii doing Zumba AND Jillian Michael's whatever Workout. YAY!***

My Continued Resolution

Day 3: We had all the kids to bed by 8pm, I sat down at the computer to play some games to wait out the "I'm not tired, he's bothering me, she won't stop breathing" moments to pass, and then, silence. The whole HOUSE went silent and dark. And then crying ensued. I looked outside, and it was only our house. CRAP. My husband was outside in his man lair(or as most people call it, the garage, only no cars are allowed in ours) and came inside to see what was up. He checked and our main breaker for the entire house had tripped. That can't be good. We still don't know why, but the line coming into the house was hotter than hell he said.
Anyway, we get that sorted, get the middle 5 back to bed, and #7 won't sleep. She's sick(AGAIN) and thinks she needs extra special attention(yes, my 13 month old has figured this out already), so she screamed everytime I laid her down. Just went it looked bleak, and I wouldn't get me time, I decided to take her in the bathroom with me and start removing my toenail polish(because I had PLANNED on giving myself a pedicure). She got bored just watching that, so she fell asleep on the floor. I put her to bed, and at least get my toenails repainted, and then read for another 20 minutes. I actually got 40 minutes to myself last night. It wasn't what I had originally intended, but I still got to do something just for me.
To celebrate achieving my goal for 3 days in a row, I took #6 and #7 to Krispy Kreme this morning after dropping the big kids off at school and preschool. We got two free glazed because they were making them fresh when we got there, and we bought 4 more. Yum. It was a good celebration. Now I get to go work on disinfecting the toys and the playroom. I need to get rid of these germs that #7 keeps finding.

New Years Resolution

Well, leave it to me, the hectic, crazy, always procrastinating, mother of seven to write about my New Years resolution the day AFTER New Years. Yep. That's me. One of THOSE people.
My resolution is to take time for me. (As I'm typing this, my husband is trying to talk to me, I had to tell him I was taking time for *ME* and he got all defensive "Oh, forgive me for bothering you".. ugh. Yes, I think it's time for me.) I am going to try to take time for myself every day. I don't do that. If you know me, you know my whole life is about my family and friends. I put everyone before me. This year, I will take the time to do something for myself every day. This is going to be one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Harder than giving birth without an epidural(and boy, was THAT a blast!!! I even did it 3 times because I thought it was so great, LOL) In all seriousness though, I am going to try my hardest to do this. I don't even know what "my time" will consist of, but I am going to make some rules that I have to follow. Feel free to add some rules for me if you want in the comments. I can't say I will follow them all, but I will try!

So here goes:
1. No using "going to the bathroom" as my me time. Absolutely not. That should be a staple every mother gets every day anyway!!
2. I can not use me time to watch TV.
3. Me time will last for at least 30 minutes in one day. Yes, I must specify one day, because if not, I may drag it out over a week, because I constantly get interrupted!
4. If I get interrupted during me time, I have to stop my timer and come back to it. Let's be realistic here, having a dramatic teenager, a diabetic son, three actresses/singers, one computer junkie who always needs help(because he's 3!!!), and a toddler who wants to be held nonstop means there WILL be interruptions.
5. Me time can include exercising, talking to a friend on the phone(or in person if that chance should ever arise), or just doing anything *I* want to do. Not something the kids want or my husband wants. It must specifically be something I want to do or enjoy doing.
6. I have to write about my me time. I may write it on paper, and blog it later, but I must write about.

And that's about the list I can think of. If you have more ideas, again, feel free to add something, and we'll see where this goes.

So let's start with Day 1: I sat and snuggled with the kids because *I* wanted to. Ok, it's kind of a rule breaker, but really, it was so heartwarming. It was fun and they had a blast which meant me sending them to bed at 9pm wasn't so horrific because they got to spend time with Mommy beforehand. In a house with nine people, spending time with Mommy or Daddy is something to cherish. :)

Day 2: I typed this. It took me 30 minutes to get my thoughts in order. I was interrupted by my husband, and had to "stop" my timer, but I sat here and typed this, and I found a way I want to decorate my girls' room.  I can't wait to get started on that! Maybe I can spend my me time sewing their new curtains, closet door, and comforters! I LOVE SEWING! :)

Ok. School starts back up tomorrow, so I supposed I should get to bed. 6am will be here so painfully early. I haven't seen that time since this morning when #7 woke up cranky. LOL. She has ear infections in both ears and a nasty virus that causes sores in her mouth. YAY! I'll need my me time more than ever now!!!